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GearStation 13 Wiki
Access: None
Additional Access: Whatever access your master gives you
Difficulty: Impossible
Supervisors: Head of Personnel
Duties: Being immune to theobromine, being a liability, playing dress-up, dancing as a spaz would
Guides: Chain of Command
Quote: Woof woof. Ruff, arf, au au. Yip, bow-wow. Bark.


  • Head:
    • Security Helmet (the ones they spawn with)
    • Sunglasses
    • Blindfold
    • Captain's Hat (the one he spawns with + collectable version)
    • HoP's Hat + Collectable
    • Top Hat
    • Kitty Ears + Collectable
    • Clown mask (honk)
    • Sheriff Hat (may not exist ingame, it's in the icons)
    • Detective's Hat
    • Sombrero (classic only)
    • Nurse Hat (put behind medbay front desk, with a station bounced radio tuned to medical, to have a functional corgi receptionist)
      • Given medbay's close proximity to the kitchen on several maps, this may not be the best idea
    • Berets (minus Sec, HoS, Highlander, French beret)
    • Pirate Hats + Collectable
    • Wizard Hats (fake or real, they both look the same.)
    • Santa Hat and Santa's hat (Yap, Yap, Yap!)
    • Rabbit Ears + Collectable
    • Ushanka (with the flaps up or down, doesn't matter.)
    • Chef's Hat (Bone appetite!) + Collectable
    • Some Hard Hats: white CE, yellow engineer, Collectable
    • Bedsheet (2spooky4me)
    • Warden's Police Hat / Collectable Police Officer's hat
    • A sheet of paper / Collectable Paper hat / Festive paper hat
    • Cargo baseball cap
    • Cardborg Helmet
    • Novelty Reindeer Hat (admin spawn)
    • Cakehat
    • Scarfs
    • Carved Pumpkin / Blumpkin (lit and unlit)
  • Back:
    • Some Armor Vests: Secoff, Marines, Infiltrator, Cuirass
    • Station Bounced Radio (annoy the shit out of get d'awws out of the crew by broadcasting everything ian barks over common)
    • Blue Oxygen Tank (The big ones)
    • Fire Extinguisher
    • Cardborg Suit (Yip. Yip.)
    • Corgi Costume
    • C4 (Rip)
    • Antag Uplink

Things Ian can do!

Ian can now be given commands! To make Ian your best friend just pet him a lot, in the future to will be changed to feeding and playing but for now just petting. After a set amount of petting you can give Ian various commands, commands include:

  • Fetch: Ian fetches an object after the player gives this command and points to a object
  • Sic: Ian will attack whatever you pointed to to attack, though having a Welsh Corgi sicced on you isn't as bad as some would think, the little bugger can do some damage!
  • heel: Ian will stay in place on your command, good for restricting movement in a bad situation.


It is Cargo's duty to get Ian laid. If cargo gets the corgi named Lisa, STEAL THAT DOG. Leave the two alone in a room and they will mate, producing the cutest thing ever. Corgi Puppies. These puppies will then be stolen by the Chef and murdered by assistants.


Jobs on /tg/station


Command Alpha Dog, Master
Security Bigger Dog, Pee On, Butt Sniffer, Smells Like Whiskey
Engineering Poly's Keeper, Yellow Dog, Smells Strange
Science Grrrrr, Trouble, Smells Like Monkeys, Maker of Loud Buzzy Things
Medical Smells Like Cat, Smells Like Makefeelgood, Smells like Blood, Smells Like Bad, Smells Like Plague
Supply Corgi Orderer, Corgi Pusher, Outside Dog
Service Bag of Treats Keeper, Tastes Like Whiskey, Keeper of the Foods, Smells Like "Plants", Smells Funny, Smells Blank, Barking, Lewd Dog, Bark At Constantly, Has Chewtoys And Nice Couch, Big Dog Not Doing Job!
Non-human Loudvoicefromwall, Loud Buzzy Thing, Loudvoicefromcube, Metal Bug, Loudvoicefromsmallbox, Is That a Ghost Shaggy?, I Need a Real, Live Ghost, Smells like Lazy Eye, G-g-g-GHOST!
Antagonist Smells Like Telecrystals, VERYloudvoicefromwall, Smells Like Everyone, Bad Dogs, Magic Dog, Scary Thing, Smells Like Ayy, Spiney Dogs, Spider Dog, Angry Dead Dog, Anyone Else Smell That?, Guard Dog, Hungry Dog, Tasty Goo, Smells Like Meat, Smells Like Brimstone, Smells Like Blood, Smells Like E̶̹̫̭̅̀L̶̡̲̦̙̙̳͂͋͗̑D̶̞̓̔R̷̡̖͋̓̀͌̍Ǐ̵̳̭̃T̴̛̙̗̺̯̼̒̑̒͝C̴̢̖̮̘̔̍̾̈́̒Ḫ̴̢̨̥̣̌͊̀̅ ̴̰͙̩̰͐G̷̡̨̘̬̾̾͠O̶͍͙̳̞̝̫̎̊͝Ḑ̷̼̼̈̇͊̽́S̸̜͇̣̝͙̾̑, Smells Like Rum, Smells Like Mutagen, Forbidden Snack, Dogthinkers, Smells Like THE LAW, Scaley Dog, Smells Like Bones And Ash, Smells Like Melting, Smells Like the Litter Box
Special Bark, Sniff & Arf, Bigger Alpha Dogs, Dog Catchers!, Time Bark, Loudvoicefromskirt, Best Dog
Races Mans, Scale Mans, Buzz Mans, Fire Mans, Vegetable Mans, Rock Mans, DIRTY CATS, Glowy Mans, Strange Mans